When I read this for the first time, it reminded me of all the crazy things I had to try to explain to my Chinese students when teaching them English. It makes me so grateful that English was my first language. I don’t think I’m smart enough to learn it otherwise!
UP. This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is ‘UP.’ It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polishUP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lockUP the house and fix UP the old car.
At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UPtrouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.
And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UPin the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UPis used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now . . . My time is UP!
Oh . . . One more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?
UP!
Did that one crack you UP?
Don’t screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . Or not . . . it’s UP to you.
Now I’ll shut UP!
(Submitted by a fellow teacher. I love that she even had napkins!)
Ms. L teaches first grade. She told the kids she had a tasty surprise for them. Then she had them close their eyes and see if they could smell the brownies. They could she put a napkin on each desk then put a brown construction paper “E” (Brown E’s) on each desk. One kid even took a bite. They didn’t quite get it at first. She told this in faculty meeting, and another teacher had heard that someone else at another school had done this too.
Click here for more April Fool’s Day ideas.
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out what kinds of jokes to play on your students on April Fool’s Day. As always, make sure to use your best judgement when playing pranks. And make sure your pranks don’t conflict with school/district policies. Here are some suggestions I’ve gathered:
1. Switch classrooms for the day. When kids come in the door, it’s not their regular teacher they’ll see.
2. Kids in elementary schools have their names written on their tables/desks. Switch everybody’s last names around so they have their first name but some other kid’s last name.
3. A funny prank for little kids is to begin your lesson of the day with your mouth moving but no sound coming out. This REALLY freaks kids out.
4. April Fool’s day is near Easter and many classrooms dye eggs. Glue the eggs into the egg cartons and when kids try to pull them out…they won’t be able to. If you don’t hard boil the eggs, it’s even funnier.
5. When the first kid of the day calls out your name, tell the class, “that’s not my name children”. Make up a name for yourself and totally pretend like that’s been your name the entire year.
6. Glue a few pencils to the floor under your kid’s desks and then demand that they clean up their mess!
7. Re-arrange every kid’s desk or table in the room.
8. Announce that the fabulous field trip planned for today was cancelled because nobody brought in their permission slips on time.
9. Ask everyone to turn in their homework that was due TODAY and is worth 90% of their grade for this 9 weeks.
10. Take your best and brightest student aside and tell them they’re in danger of failing their grade for the year.
11. Tell your class that lunch is cancelled because the cafeteria ran out of food but everyone else at the school got to eat.
12. Send several kids to the principals office for no reason. (Maybe warn the principal ahead of time.)
13. Tell your students that, because it’s a leap year, they have to stay in class 2 hours longer every day this month.
14. Assign the kids new seats and then re-assign again several times during the day.
15. Wear a Halloween costume and tell all the children they won’t get any candy this year because they didn’t dress up.
16. Call out ‘sick’ on Friday or Monday – Think your students want a longer weekend or to not have class on Monday? Have a fellow teacher come in, tell them you’re out sick but that you didn’t have time to find a substitute. Then have that teacher say something like ‘we trust you to be on your own for the rest of the day’ and then have them exit. See what happens. I wonder how long you can last watching them squirm and figure out what to do?
17. Tell your students you’re all going on a field trip to someplace fun at the end of the day – When it gets to be almost the end of the day, tell them that the ‘fun’ place is actually their homes! Zing!
18. Create an entirely new grading system – Tired of the ol’ A, B, and Cs (okay and sometimes Ds and Fs)? Then make up a completely arbitrary and confusing new grading system! For example, students who do well can get a ‘Frog’ and students who don’t do as well can get ‘Blue’ and others can be graded with a gold star. Something that totally confounds the human mind would be the best route to go here.
19. Tell your students the entire day’s class will be conducted via Twitter – Are you a tweacher? Why not just talk about teaching on Twitter and actually do all your teaching on the addictive social media tool? You can instruct students to follow a particular hashtag and then just start typing on your mobile phone in the front of class. Watch ‘em scramble and protest! (Not the best prank if there are not enough computers or other devices around, obviously.)
20. In the spirit of flipped classrooms, have one student chosen at random teach for the entire day – Or at least tell them that’s what they’re going to do. They obviously won’t have to but see how long you can go before the students runs out of things to say.
Click here for more April Fool’s Day ideas. (Sources: here and here.)
I’m dying to hear about your April Fool’s Day pranks! Please comment below!
A fellow teacher sent me this, and it made me chuckle:
“This week was spirit week at school. Thursday was the stumper – dress up in what you want to be some day. One of my girls wore a princess dress and said she was going to be a role model. One of our teachers wore a Hawaii shirt and said she was going to be retired. I guess you’ve got to get creative!”
Here’s what every teacher should know about International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Just knowing about it and being able to mention it in class will give you instant coolness points.
When: September 19
What Is International Talk Like A Pirate Day (ITLAPD)? ITLAPD is a parodic holiday created in 1995 by John Baur (Ol’ Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap’n Slappy), of Albany, Oregon, who proclaimed September 19 each year as the day when everyone in the world should talk like a pirate. For example, an observer of this holiday would greet friends not with “Hello,” but with “Ahoy, matey!” The holiday, and its observance, springs from a romanticized view of the Golden Age of Piracy.
When is Talk Like A Pirate Day? ITLAPD isn’t one o’ those governmentally sanctioned holidays that shifts around… No, the date is ALWAYS Sept. 19! Now, occasionally Sept. 19 falls on a Sunday, and we recognize that may not meet everyone’s desire for an excuse to party [in which case we recommend Talk Like A Pirate Weekend].
OK, settle this once and for all. Is it “Arrrrrrr,” “Yarrrrr,” “Yarrrrgh” or what? we don’t care how ye say it! Your “Arrr!” should just come from yer heart and yer bowels and be a fully formed expression o’ yer own Pirattitude!
What does “savvy” mean? Johnny Depp has a lot to answer for. For a time after the release of “Pirates of the Caribbean, this was among our most-frequently-asked questions. The dictionary defines “savvy” as “wisdom, understanding.” Used as a question, it can be taken to mean “get it?”
How about “Shiver me timbers”? When the wind blows hard on a wooden ship, the timbers literally rattle. This is a cause for surprise and concern … therefore, “Shiver me timbers” is an expression of surprise.
Where can I find a pirate name generator? There are many links on the ITLAPD official website.
Pirate Lingo: The Basics
Pirate lingo is rich and complicated, sort of like a good stew. There are several other sites that offer glossaries that are pretty good, and you can find some of them on the official ITLAPD links page.
But if you just want a quick fix, a surface gloss, a “pirate patina,” if you will, here are the five basic words that you cannot live without. Master them, and you can face Talk Like a Pirate Day with a smile on your face and a parrot on your shoulder, if that’s your thing.
Ahoy! – “Hello!”
Avast! – Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, “Whoa! Get a load of that!” which today makes it more of a”Check it out” or “No way!” or “Get off!”
Aye! – “Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.”
Aye aye! – “I’ll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over.”
Arrr! – This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. “Arrr!” can mean, variously, “yes,” “I agree,” “I’m happy,” “I’m enjoying this beer,” “My team is going to win it all,” “I saw that television show, it sucked!” and “That was a clever remark you or I just made.” And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!
For more information, visit the official ITLAPD website.
Squarehead Teachers 